


Live.

by TheReluctantRealist



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: A Court Of War and Ruin, Canon Compliant, Chapter 63, F/M, Nessian - Freeform, One Shot, One True Pairing, missing moment, ugh these two aCCEPT THE MATE BOND ALREADY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23093782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReluctantRealist/pseuds/TheReluctantRealist
Summary: Injured in the battle against Hybern, again, Cassian has questions.And surprisingly, Nesta might be ready to answer.A canon-compliant missing moment set in Chapter 63, ACOWAR.
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 21
Kudos: 97





	Live.

**Author's Note:**

> you KNOW that the kiss has some history behind it.
> 
> All characters and events belong to Sarah J Maas. I am just a wee fangirl standing in front of the author begging her to let my babeys have babeys.

> _“Eat or bed?” Cassian had asked Nesta, and I honestly couldn’t tell if he’d meant it as some sort of an invitation. I debated telling him he was in no shape._
> 
> _Nesta only said, “Bed.” And there was certainly no invitation in the exhausted reply._

Grunting, Cassian sneaked a glance at the female walking him towards his tent. The raging fire in her eyes had dimmed, shoulders held taut as the haughty lines of her face relaxed slightly, her complexion unusually blanched.

A rattled Nesta made his blood boil. Made him want to tear those bastards into a million pieces. Made him want to march up to Hybern and crush the vermin's head himself. He lurched inside the tent, the sudden movement making the gash on his abdomen burn, when she grabbed his arm to steady him.

“Easy.”

Cassian looked up at her, meeting her sharp grey gaze. Muted as they may be, the silver flames in her eyes danced still, the well of power running deep. He wondered how Nesta could remain in control of the force she stole from the Cauldron, the power she stole from Creation itself. Rhys had spoken at length about needing to exert his power regularly in order to stay sane. And if the Bone Carver was right…

_He is._

Cassian only had to glance at her slender form for confirmation.

_Devastation._

He sat back on the bed, his brows furrowed as his muscles protested against any and all movement. Deep in thought, it took him a while to notice Nesta standing by the flaps of the tent, her gaze frozen onto his abdomen.

"Anything you have to say, Emissary?"

Nesta blinked. She hadn't known that she was still in his tent. He looked at her lazily and pointed towards a stool in the corner.

"Make yourself at home."

She glared at him. The two remained quiet, the heavy silence sporadically broken by Cassian's laborious breaths.

A minute passed. Five more. And then some.

Nesta still hadn't taken her eyes off his injury. Drawing in a deep breath, Cassian shuddered as her scent hit him. Unbearable as a human, intolerable as Fae. He scowled, suppressing his instincts deep, holding back the urge to take what was h- no. No. He would not think of that. He could _not_ not think of that.

He must not think of that.

Cassian stretched, or rather attempted to, before groaning as the slash on his belly throbbed, the frayed skin held together barely. He didn't miss the pained gasp emanating from her throat, and met Nesta's stare as she placed a hand over her stomach, massaging it. Grabbing a flagon of water from the bedside, Cassian chugged it down, and growled, "How?"

"Pardon?"

"How did you know I was hurt?"

Nesta blinked. Again. And didn't say anything.

"You can't share my company and expect me to not make conversation, Emissary. Unlike others" - he grinned at the frost forming in her eyes -"I actually find talking to be a pleasurable activity."

She said nothing. Stared. Held his gaze.

He went on. "I find that whenever I have questions that need to be answered, voicing them to those who need to answer does prove to be fruitful. Unless of course, one doesn't need answers. Because sometimes, Emissary, answers exist, and we ignore them."

He exhaled and shifted, noting how her eyes widened, her hands curling into fists behind her skirts. He grinned. The night's breeze had told him everything he needed to know.

"So tell me, Emissary, how did you know that I was hurt?"

Nesta scoffed. "One would have to be more than half-blind to fail to notice your guts hanging out of your body, Commander."

Cassian smirked. "I think the both of us know that I am not talking about today, Nesta."

She looked away, staring at the fireplace. And he looked at her. Savoured her.

Cassian wanted nothing more than to bite the pointed ends of her ears.

Nesta Archeron was beauty and butchery made flesh. Her hair was in an intricate braid atop her head, leaving her supple neck exposed, exposed to his want. He remembered saying that she would incite a riot in pants. In Illyrian leathers? Nesta Archeron could bring gods to their knees.

Cassian wanted to lick his way up her throat. She was a brand on his mind, an itch he couldn't really scratch, and a necessity he had been deprived of for far too long.

"I felt you, Commander."

He twitched at hearing her voice so quiet, so bereft of its usual cold, so...vulnerable. She looked away from the flames to meet his wide eyes, and he gasped quietly, the call in his soul getting harder and harder to ignore.

"I feel you." Her eyes burned, hotter than any flame, colder than the darkest moon. "In here." She placed a hand on her chest.

"You know." It wasn't a question. "Since when?"

"Hybern."

The flickering flames were the only sounds made in the tent, the silence stretching on for long. Too long, Cassian thought.

"Why are you here, Nesta? Why are you here with me?"

"Because I can't stay away."

He could see the effort it took for her to speak, to voice her thoughts, to face her own emotions. Nesta felt deeply and hid it even more, and he wondered why she was telling him this.

"I am telling you this because" - she took a deep breath and shuddered - "I want you to live."

Cassian tore his eyes away from her, muttering, "I can't promise that."

He was taken aback when she got up and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her and meet her stare. _Is this what it feels to gaze into the depths of the Cauldron?_

"You _will_ promise that. You _will_ live for me."

He could see how proximity affected her. Cheeks flushed, her scent teased him, turning sweeter and more alluring. Cassian frowned, and pushed her away.

"So should I consider this to be an acknowledgement of the bo-?"

She placed a finger on his lips, shuddering. "Don't...don't say it out loud." She breathed, her body trembling. "I need...time. I need some more time."

Cassian looked at her, the female - his female - sitting by him, whose heat promised to burn him alive. He took her hand gently, and placed a kiss on her palm, smiling as a soft _oh_ left her pristine lips. "I will do my best to live."

Her eyes shining, she stood up and nodded. Cassian smiled back and wished her goodnight, lying down as she exited, his heart lighter than it had ever been since Hybern. He had almost fallen asleep when she entered again, her eyes blazing. And kissed his forehead. Eyes widening, he looked at her quizzically. And Nesta smiled. A slight curving of her lips, but a smile nonetheless, one that blinded him, and Cassian knew he would flatten mountains and uproot entire forests if that was what it took to get her to smile again.

“Live for me, Cassian.”


End file.
